Motivation

Description

Step 1: Select a Challenging Task, Goal, or Situation

Some examples might be:

• You are repeatedly procrastinating (e.g., finishing a paper).
• Others are frustrated because you haven’t handled something yet.
• You haven’t had the courage to act (e.g., pursuing an idea).
• Your energy drains just thinking about it (e.g., meetings).

For this example, we’ll use losing weight.

Step 2: Select one of the motivational outlooks

Disinterested

I see no value in losing 25 pounds. I may not be pleased with my weight or diet, but I have no intention of acting on this goal — it feels too overwhelming right now.

External

I really want to win the prize our health insurance company is offering if I achieve my weight-loss goal over the next six months.

Imposed

I feel a lot of pressure to lose weight. My family members are worried about my health, and I feel guilty about disappointing them.

Aligned

I value my health, and losing weight is one way to honor that value. I look forward to losing twenty-five pounds. It is a healthy choice for me.

Integrated

Part of my life purpose is to be a role model for my children and to have the energy to be involved in their lives. Losing twenty-five pounds will give me the vitality I need to fulfill that purpose.

Inherent

I am genuinely enthusiastic about losing weight. This new diet sounds fun and exciting. I enjoy trying new approaches.

Step 3: Answer the following questions

Is your need for autonomy satisfied?

• Example: Not being able to eat whatever I want decreases my sense of autonomy.

Is your need for relatedness satisfied?

• Example: Potential shame from family and friends lowers the quality of my connection with them.

Is your need for competence satisfied?

• Example: Pressure from my doctor and family makes me feel like they don’t trust my ability to take care of myself.

Are you using mindfulness to self-regulate?

• Example: When I eat food I “shouldn’t” eat, I avoid thinking about it — which reduces mindfulness.

Are you using values to self-regulate?

• Example: I use integrity and loyalty to guide me at work, but I don’t see how those values connect to my eating habits.

Are you using purpose to self-regulate?

• Example: I’m not sure how becoming healthier connects to my larger life purpose.

Step 4: Select the Motivational Outlook to Shift Toward

Aligned: First, clarify your values. Take the values test. Then connect your goal to those values.

• Example: I am a respectful person, and I respect my body. I will choose to be healthy as a way of honoring that respect.

Integrated: Clarify your life purpose. Then tie your goal to that purpose.

• Example: I aim to create a happy and healthy family. To do that, I need to stay well and avoid preventable illness. Losing weight supports that mission.

Inherent: Think back to your childhood and identify activities where you lost track of time and felt deep enjoyment. Then connect those elements to your goal.

• Example: As a child, I loved optimizing numbers and tracking stats. If I approach weight loss as a game — creating spreadsheets to track food, hunger, and calories — I can “min-max” my diet like a strategy challenge.

Step 5: Practice mindfulness

• Take two minutes to reflect on the situation.
• Ask yourself:
  • What am I feeling?
  • What do I want to do?
  • Why do I want to do it?
• Use the 5whys. Over time, you may realize that you already possess autonomy, relatedness, and competence — but they need to be consciously activated.

Step 6: Reflect

Think about your goal again and write down what you feel. You are looking for signs such as:

• Positive energy
• A sense of physical and emotional harmony
• Calmness from supportive and secure relationships
• Little to no negative energy, stress, or anxiety
• A sense of continued learning, growth, and accomplishment
• A feeling that you are contributing to something meaningful

Extra

Tool from Why Motivating People Doesn't Work