Step 1: Select a challenging task goal or situation
Some examples might be
You are repeatedly procrastinating, such as finishing up the paper
Others are frustrated because you haven't handled something yet
You haven't had the courage to act, such as pursuing an idea
Your energy drains just thinking about it, such as meetings
For this we'll select losing weight.
Step 2: Select one of the motivational outlook
Disinterested -> I see no value in losing 25 pounds. I may not be pleased with my weight or diet, but I have no intentions of acting on this goal-it is too overwhelming right now.
External -> I really want to win the price our health insurance company is offering me if I achieve my weight-loss goal over the next six months.
Imposed -> I'm feeling a lot of pressure to lose the weight. My family members are worried about my health; I feel guilty about disappointing them.
Aligned -> I value my health, and losing weight is one way to be healthier. I look forward to losing twenty-five pounds. It is a healthy choice for me.
Integrated -> Part of my life purpose is to be a role model for my children and to have the energy I need to be involved in their lives. Losing twenty-five pounds is a way of gaining the energy and vitality I need to fulfill my purpose.
Inherent -> I am enthusiastic about losing the weight. This new diet sounds fun and exciting. I enjoy trying new things.
Step 3: Answer the following questions
Is your need for autonomy satisfied? - Example: Not being able to eat anything I want decreases my autonomy
Is your need for relatedness satisfied? - Example: Potential shame from family & friends gives low quality relatedness with
Is your need for competence satisfied? - Example: Pressure from doctor and family means they don't trust my ability to take care of myself.
Are you employing mindfulness to self-regulate? - Example: When eating food I shouldn't eat, I try not to think about it decreasing mindfulness
Are you employing values to self-regulate? - Example: My values of integrity & loyalty are used at work. But I don't see how its connected to food.
Are you employing purpose to self-regulate? - Example: I'm not sure how being skinny is connected to my purpose.
Step 4: Select the motivational outlook to shift to
Aligned: For this you first need to have developed values. Take the values test. Then connect your problem to your values. - Example: I am a respectful person. And I respect my body. I ill be healthy to show them respect.
Integrated: For this you need to have a purpose. Then tie your problem to your purpose. - Example: I aim to create a happy family. In order for me to do that I need to lose weight so I don't become sick and make it an unhappy place.
Inherent: Think back to your childhood to see what activities you lost track of time and were super fun. Then connect those activities with your problem. - Example: As I child I loved min maxing numbers & stats. So if I approach this as a game, create spreadsheets of foods, hunger and calories I can min max an ultimate diet.
Step 5: Practice mindfullness
Take 2 minutes to think about the situation. What you feel. What you want to do. Why you think you want to do it. etc.
Use the 5whys and eventually you'll understand you have autonomy, relatedness and competence.
Step 6: Reflect
Think of your goal and write down what you feel. You're looking for the following feelings
Presence of positive energy
A sense of physical and emotional harmony
Calm from being in supportive and secure relationships
Little to no negative energy, stress or anxiety
A sense of continued learning, growth and accomplishment
A feeling that contributing to something meaningful