Imagine two people resisting a cigarette. When offered a smoke, the first person says, “No thanks. I’m trying to quit.” It sounds like a reasonable response, but this person still believes they are a smoker trying to become something else. They are hoping their behavior will change while holding on to the same beliefs.
The second person declines by saying, “No thanks. I’m not a smoker.” It’s a small difference, but this statement signals a shift in identity. Smoking belonged to their former life, not their current one. They no longer identify as someone who smokes.
Most people don’t even consider identity change when they set out to improve. They think, “I want to be skinny (outcome), and if I stick to this diet, then I’ll be skinny (process).” They set goals and decide on the actions needed to achieve them without examining the beliefs driving those actions. They never change how they see themselves, and they don’t realize that their old identity can sabotage their new plans for change - Atomic Habits
Of course, this skill is not as straightforward as it seems. You’ll notice that it doesn’t always work immediately. The reason is the same as with everything else — you have to ease into it. If you’re 100 kg and you start saying, “I am a healthy person,” you may experience cognitive dissonance. The gap between your current reality and your new identity may feel too wide. It might make more sense to tell yourself, “I am someone who acts like a 90 kg person.” Once you reach that mark, you can gradually move to 80 kg, and so on.